toxic masculinity keeping snowflakes safe since 1775
By Douglas V. Gibbs


After a two day trip to Catalina my wife and I, on the way home, stopped at a popular seafood restaurant in Oceanside to enjoy some lobster, crab, mussels, and shrimp in the restaurant’s famous bucket-style presentation.  The waitress (or should I say, “Food Service Person”) like most of the employees of this particular restaurant wore a tie-dye t-shirt with some spiffy slogan and a red crab pic tucked in somewhere on the shirt.  I’ve never expected any restaurant I visit to cater to my conservative beliefs, but I expect them not to be overly progressive-lefty either.  Some chains come across as one or the other, but usually none of them are too overtly in your face about certain beliefs or attitudes.

The experience at the place we chose on the way home from Catalina, however, was not only politically charged, it was downright rude, and a dark sign of the times.

Most restaurants, when you sit, they first ask you if you wish for a drink.  Then, appetizers are ordered, the meal is ordered, refills are provided for the drinks, and then the final check is provided either on a piece of paper, or one of those devices where you can do-it-yourself-pay for the meal.  Sometimes, my wife and I sit next to each other, but usually at a booth or a table we sit across from each other.  When the server addresses us they normally either look at me first, or primarily address me, or they will look back and forth as if trying to give both my wife, and I, equal time.  This time, we experienced a very different approach that I had heard was happening, but until that point had not experienced for myself.

After we sat down the waitress walked up and asked my wife if she wanted something to drink.  My wife gave a reply, and then the waitress began to walk away as if I was not sitting there.  I shouted, “and I will take a Dr. Pepper.”  She continued to walk away without even skipping a step.  When she returned with only my wife’s drink, my wife said, “my husband would like a Dr. Pepper.”

The woman vanished, and eventually she returned with a Dr. Pepper.  She also furnished us with paper straws, at which time I fetched a plastic straw from my pocket and dropped it into my glass.

When she returned later my wife asked if they still had mussels, and the woman said, “yes.”  Then I said, “We would like mussels then, in garlic sauce, as an appetizer.”  Without giving me a single glance the lady said to my wife, “Would you like to order mussels?”  She responded yes, and then the waitress asked, “steamed only, or with flavoring.”  My wife hesitated for a moment, confused.  “Garlic,” she finally said, and the waitress walked away, once again without sending me even a single glance.

I am cut from a very traditional cloth, so I order for my wife, and she has told me how much she appreciates that I order for her, hold doors open for her, and try to do for her with the best of my ability.  So, when the waitress returned for our order, once again looking toward my wife, I began ordering for her.  “My wife would like,” I began, and then I provided my wife’s order, and mine.  The woman wrote down the order (at least she was finally willing to acknowledge I was speaking) but never looked at me.  Then, after she was finished writing down the order, she looked at my wife and asked, “Anything else?”  My wife responded, “No,” and the waitress vanished to submit our order.  During the course of the meal my wife got two refills for her tea, but my Dr. Pepper was never refilled. 

At the end of the meal when the waitress brought our check, she addressed my wife, and laid it on the table in front of her and walked away.  I grabbed it, and placed my card on the small plastic tray with the receipt.  When the waitress took it and came back for the signature, she again laid it in front of my wife, and continued to go out of her way to act as if I was not there.

“No tip,” I said to my wife.  “If I don’t exist, neither did any good service.”  I then signed the receipt and we departed.  I asked my wife if she saw what I saw as we walked out of the restaurant, and she replied, “Yes, she never looked at you once.”

I was not wearing a MAGA hat, nor did I have any other political paraphernalia on my body, to I am assuming I was treated that way simply because I am a man.  What else could it have been?

Our culture, especially when it comes to the youngsters, has been fed with the Marxist-inspired “toxic masculinity” crap so bad that the emotions of some women have deteriorated to the point that they can’t even stand to look at a man, much less acknowledge his presence.  I am willing to bet, however, the same women who scream bloody murder about “toxic masculinity” applauds men in makeup and pantyhose.

My wife experienced a similar attitude not long ago at work.  She was looking at buying some dresses from the retail outlet she has worked for during the last decade and a half, and she snapped pictures of them and sent them to me via text to get my opinion of which one I liked most.  Her friends chided her for sending me the pics.  “Why would you do that?” they asked.

“I would like my husband’s opinion,” she responded.

“Why?” came the responses.

One of the ladies said, “Who cares what he thinks, you have your own mind, pick what you want.”

Feminism and other leftist ideas have placed women not only in a place where they compete against men, but now they loathe men and seek a world without them.  They no longer wish for “equality,” but for dominance.  And the men, stupidly, not only are willing to acquiesce, they are bending over backwards to give up their masculinity.

Fox News recently reported that on social media the discussion is trending towards believing that men being a provider is a scam.  Hey, women, pay your fair share!  Men not only don’t wish to provide for their mate, or family, anymore, they don’t even want to work!  Women have demanded over the years that men should be more sensitive, more responsive to women wishing to hit the world running, shed their toxic masculinity, and soften their attitudes and activities, and men have largely responded by agreeing to follow the demands fully.

I had a left-leaning woman once ask me, “Where did all of the good men go?”  I responded, “You turned them all into women.”

Men, by instinct, wish to be men.  We naturally yearn to provide, take care of our families, and treat our wives like queens.  We instinctively want to open their doors, throw our jackets over water puddles, and pay for their dinner.  That is not a social construct, nor is it sexist.  That attitude of caring for women and taking care of women is a natural phenomenon.  We live to take care of our wives, and children (until they can be independent and move on in the case of the kids).  But, today, we have men leaving their families, children being brought up in a single-parent household that is usually run by mom, men leaving the workforce, men dropping out of college, and an increase of suicide among men.

The anti-man culture has stripped men of what they live for, and now society is beginning to pay the price.

Men, real men, are vanishing from society, and instead we have girly-boys who seek to be more feminine, or soft males who are too afraid to be more like a man because his woman might disapprove, or homosexuals because being with a woman no longer makes sense to them.

According to Owen Strachan, author of The War on Men, “for every one woman who drops out of college, seven men drop out. Men have left the workforce in almost unprecedented numbers; the current employment rate of men in prime working years mirrors that of the Great Depression. Men are also dropping out of church. For decades, women have filled roughly 60 percent of the pews…Men have disappeared from many families…80 percent of single-parent homes are headed by mothers…men kill themselves far more than women do, representing 80 percent of suicides today per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”


Without manhood, men lose their purpose, and their reason to live.

“The modern feminist movement has attacked manhood relentlessly. Cultural Marxism renders male leadership patriarchal, oppressive, and unjust. Our safety-obsessed society has trained men to fear the world, not enter it wholeheartedly.”

Without men being men, without masculinity, society dies.  The tyrants will have no men to war against them and stop their authoritarianism.  The toughest jobs will not be performed, therefore certain products will diminish in availability.  Leadership, the health of the family unit, and spiritual leadership which is afforded to men by God will all disappear and what will remain will be women, and men who have been told that if they chase after their natural masculine selves they are nothing more than broken girls.

Men, real men, stand firm and take charge.  Men are naturally not emotional for good reason.  The rigors of life, if one allows their emotions to make the decisions, will destroy humanity.  Jeremiah 17:9, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked.”  We must use our common sense, our logic, and our pragmaticism.  Men are designed to be tough, practical, logical and pragmatic in ways that women are not for a reason.  Feeling bad about killing the animal that needs to be hunted does not feed the family.  Avoiding the difficulty of lifting the needed materials to construct a home does not shelter the family.  Cowering when danger emerges does not protect the family.  Men instinctively desire to build a family, work hard, provide, stand up to danger when necessary, cultivate their lives, and lead their family in life and spirituality.  Life is bigger than us, and we need to be big enough to stand against a world of difficulties.  That is what a man was designed to do.  

When my wife quit battling against me with competitive feministic ideas and instead became a more feminine woman and proclaimed, “I trust you, please take the lead,” the man inside me celebrated the moment, and I began to seek how I could be a better man for her.  When she proclaimed that she recognized I am her man, and she appreciates my masculinity, I began to strive all the more to treat her like royalty.  I live to do for her.  I live to be her man when she lives to be my woman.

That is how God set it up, for a reason.

That is not to say men should be tyrants.  My wife’s opinion means a lot to me.  We communicate.  We work together as a couple.  We flourish.  We flourish not because I am some tyrannical king, but because she respects my position as head of the household, and I wish to please her as best I can in that role, well knowing that if necessary, my say is the final say, but I also communicate with her constantly to make sure I fully understand her position and her thinking about all of those decisions.  In the end, we make better decisions and she receives the man she wants by simply being the woman I desire.

According to studies, my wife is not the only one seeking a man who acts like a man.

According to the New York Post, progressive women largely want to date men who act conservative, because her instincts and natural God-given desires want exactly that.  A man.  A masculine man.  A man that treats her well while seeking to provide for her and protect her.

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